“Anyone else has to come upstairs and see the Shogun. I’m still the Shogun.”

He’s a jokester, and that’s funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny.

My motto is very simple. Win a Ring for the King.

The only person who can really motivate you is you.

Get his master’s in criminal justice, stayed out of trouble. Played for three different teams. Changed three different franchises around.

I should have done better, but it was just a very ugly and weird game… I knew the game was going to be an ugly game when I saw those three guys at the scorer’s table. Ugly people call ugly games.

I’m on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it’s all up in the medulla oblongata. I’ve got a lot up there. I’ve got a lot of knowledge… in this medulla oblongata.

As a general, and as a leader of this team, whatever I’ve got to do get my guys going I’ll do it every time. If I have to be the bad guy sometime, I’ll guess I’ll take that. That’s what a leader and a general and a chief of police does.

And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business.

I’m pissed off. ‘Cause I knew I did something wrong. I’ll have a hell of a season if I win the championship and average 20 points a game.

I’m dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up.

He’s the president. I’m the general. Unless I want to get impeached, I got to do what he says.

I beat a lot of teams from the line. You have to have mechanics. But see, what people don’t know about my wrists is my wrists don’t go all the way back.

(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can’t stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it.

I don’t take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.

I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.

Y’all reporters like my quotes, don’t you. Yeah, my quotes are Shaqalicious.

Booksellers are the most valuable destination for the lonely, given the numbers of books that were written because authors couldn’t find anyone to talk to.

Anyone who’s had a shower and hasn’t ingested illegal narcotics within a couple of days stands out on a bench in the courthouse.

There aren’t that many superstars around anymore.

As a Baptist minister, I don’t have the right to impose my views on anyone else. If committed gay and lesbian couples want to marry, that is their business; none of us should stand in their way

The GOP’s freak out over Donald Trump. Just two months to Iowa, can anyone stop him?

Any place that anyone can learn something useful from someone with experience is an educational institution.

All about how he developed his career and his creativity as a comedian. Lots of what he talks about is relevant to anyone in the creative arts.

It could never happen for anyone they way it happened for me. It was all an accident.