Be quick to learn and wise to know.
GEORGE BURNSAt my age flowers scare me.
More George Burns Quotes
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Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.
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How can I die? I’m booked.
GEORGE BURNS -
Nice to be here? At my age it’s nice to be anywhere.
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I can’t afford to die; I’d lose too much money.
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Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
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Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman – or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle.
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It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
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You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.
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I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.
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I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
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I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
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Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.
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It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.
GEORGE BURNS