“At my age flowers scare me.”

Be quick to learn and wise to know.

You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.

It’s hard for me to get used to these changing times. I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.

I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn’t ask me, I’d still have to say it.

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

This is the sixth book I’ve written, which isn’t bad for a guy who’s only read two.

I don’t believe in dying. It’s been done. I’m working on a new exit. Besides, I can’t die now – I’m booked.

I smoke ten to fifteen cigars a day. At my age I have to hold on to something.

Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.

The most important thing in acting is honesty. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

You’ve got to be honest; if you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

At least 50 times. I’ve jumped off a building, jumped off a cliff in a car. I’ve been in bedrooms when women came in with knives and guns.

Black culture is something I don’t relate to much at all.

I love being at home and cooking and baking.

I love being on stage, I love being able to tell a story, I love the fact that the audience listens and laughs at it. It makes me happy, and it’s what I live for.

At times it seems we require more grace to lose our wealth than to lose our life!

At the end of the day, I want to be part of the same conversation as Chris Rock, Eddie Murphy, Dave Chappelle, Bill Cosby and Richard Pryor.

I don’t eat vegetables. I eat potatoes and green beans, and that’s it.

People who win go outside of that box. It’s very simple when you look at it.