My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITEI want my fans to feel like we’re always in touch. Because without ’em, I wouldn’t be able to do any of this.
More Ron White Quotes
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As long as I stay engaged with everybody else, then I’ll create more comedy. It’s just when I shut off and stay at home… What helps me is just to keep moving.
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I’ve asked these guys in rock bands with all the 18-wheelers driving to the venue how they make money. I just don’t understand it. But I don’t understand a lot of things.
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I guarantee there’s people who watch television who have no idea how complicated it is to make a television show.
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I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.
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I still love to walk on stage and make people laugh, and I work very, very hard at it, and I take it seriously.
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My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
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I was a huge fan of comedy when I was a child.
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My show is more storytelling now than it’s ever been. It’s what I’m good at.
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I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
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Television is 15 hour days. Movies are 18 hour days. And it’s 18 hours of doing not a thing.
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I don’t have a specific plan except for as long as people want to listen to me talk, I’m going to keep talking. I can’t imagine a life without doing standup.
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You can tell on-stage when a joke’s starting to lose its pop. It doesn’t mean people don’t want to hear it anymore; it means I don’t want to do it anymore. Because I want to move on to something that has a knee-jerk reaction just like you get when you tell somebody a joke that they’ve never heard.
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If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
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Here’s how I operate. When I see something I like, 20 years later, I ask her brother for her phone number. She don’t even see me coming.
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All of my comedian friends are some of the best joke writers in the world.
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I was a little one-trick pony. I do what I’ve always done. That’s really where my best stuff comes from. I don’t know how it happens. It just happens.
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I do a lot of gay-friendly stuff in my show, and men, women, they all love it. I practice non-judgment in my daily life and hope other people do the same thing.
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I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
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I don’t watch Comedy Central. I don’t enjoy it.
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There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
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There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
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I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
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The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
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Comedy is all about the pause.
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The next time you have a thought… let it go.
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I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
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