There’s not a pill you can take; there’s not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.
RON WHITEYou can’t fix stupid.
More Ron White Quotes
-
-
Anybody could say anything they want about me, and it literally never penetrates my skin.
RON WHITE -
My shows are not all-the-way filthy, but they can be.
RON WHITE -
My biggest pet peeve, I guess, is other comedians criticizing Larry the Cable Guy.
RON WHITE -
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE -
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE -
There have been times when I played more than others, but I’ve been a road comic for a quarter of a century, so I’ve always played golf on the road because you have a lot of time to kill.
RON WHITE -
I begged the universe to make me a famous comedian, and it did. So I tend not to ask for any more.
RON WHITE -
That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
RON WHITE -
Think of The Rontourage as the Ron White Channel, where you can see us getting into trouble in all kinds of different places.
RON WHITE -
Comedy is great because there’s no overhead.
RON WHITE -
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE -
I think the world has their own good, clean, Christian comedy. They don’t need my help.
RON WHITE -
Let’s face it: a lot of my material comes from the stuff that happens to me on the road.
RON WHITE -
Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE -
Everybody I know is a joke writer.
RON WHITE -
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
RON WHITE -
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE -
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE -
The only thing I really worry about is my live stand-up show because I have to answer to the fans.
RON WHITE -
I consider it an honor and a privilege to give back however I can for the many sacrifices of these incredibly brave men and women.
RON WHITE -
I write these shows one joke at a time. There’s no continuity. I do try to figure an order to the stories, but there’s not continuity.
RON WHITE -
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered.
RON WHITE -
I believe everything creative is somewhat collaborative. If you’re a painter and someone stretches your canvas, it was collaborative on some level.
RON WHITE -
If you become famous and don’t have a live show to back it up, they’re not going to pay you any money.
RON WHITE -
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE -
It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
RON WHITE