It never dawned on me that I had the option of becoming a comedian. I come from a little dirt street town in northwest Texas, and they really don’t talk about the arts there much on career day.
RON WHITEIf I see someone out there mouthing the words to a bit, I’m not having fun.
More Ron White Quotes
-
-
Any time someone achieves success before they’ve earned it, it always comes back to haunt them.
RON WHITE -
I don’t know who in my family thinks very fast at all, including me. The things that people see me do onstage are written, so it doesn’t have to be very quick if you have all day with a pen.
RON WHITE -
I love Cincinnati, but you can keep that spaghetti chili product!
RON WHITE -
I’ve never been one to look up the ladder. I’ve always looked down the ladder. As long as there’s one guy down there, I’m fine.
RON WHITE -
If you look at the common denominator of all the comics who have had big success, it’s being true to their nature… that’s what takes a long time to learn.
RON WHITE -
My opening acts are always really strong because I need a guy who can take on a big, big crowd. Which is not that easy to do.
RON WHITE -
My uncle was a preacher, and I used to go watch him preach. He was also funny, so I’m very ‘preacher-ish’ on stage, not by intent but because that’s where I learned to talk in front of people.
RON WHITE -
We always go out looking for live music after our shows.
RON WHITE -
I really understood a lot more about comedy after listening to Bill Hicks, who died at 32 years old. He’s probably the best comedian who ever lived. Although you can’t say that because of Carlin, Cosby and Pryor.
RON WHITE -
I started selling out comedy clubs before I got to town with no advertising. I was selling out theaters just on the rumor that I was going to be there.
RON WHITE -
There’s no idea or concept in comedy you could do that hasn’t been attacked from some angle. But if you start leaving punchlines out so you’ll look cool, I don’t get that. But I don’t watch standup anyway, so I don’t know what they’re doing.
RON WHITE -
My brain is like a cross between a colander and a Lazy Susan – thin, slow, and it leaks.
RON WHITE -
People are saying that I’m an alcoholic, and that’s not true, because I only drink when I work, and I’m a workaholic.
RON WHITE -
The next time you have a thought… let it go.
RON WHITE -
Mother, she likes the blue material just fine.
RON WHITE -
I was talking to a guy who was holding his 18-month-old daughter with the only limb he had left, and he had a smile on his face. I thought, ‘I’m not even a 10th of this man.’
RON WHITE -
I’d rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part.
RON WHITE -
I go to more open mic nights than open mikers.
RON WHITE -
There are two kinds of comics; there are the ones who build bridges, and then there are the people who walk across the bridges as though they built them. The bridge builders are few and far between.
RON WHITE -
The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.
RON WHITE -
The only way to stay sharp is to do live shows. There is no part-time comedy.
RON WHITE -
That’s the beauty of being a straight-to-DVD star. It really helps you stay under the media’s radar.
RON WHITE -
When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range.
RON WHITE -
Comedy is all about the pause.
RON WHITE -
I get e-mail from all over the world, and from lawyers and doctors and whoever – plumbers and drywall hangers.
RON WHITE -
I don’t do talk shows or go on Dr. Phil’s show. He’s a friend of mine, and, no, he doesn’t give me any advice. He doesn’t give solicited advice.
RON WHITE