Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZI’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
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Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step – it is an old business procedure.
FRAN LEBOWITZ