Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZAll God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.
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The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
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Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZ