“After going through a lot of procedures and spending a lot of money … the doctor said, ‘Look, based on what we’re seeing here, I just don’t think this is going to happen for you.’”

“You are going to fail, and anyone who is success has powered through many, many failures.”

Am I going to complain about being typecast as smart? I don’t think so.

“Trust me, you don’t want to have to actually interact with these people.”

I spent most of my seventh grade summer dehydrated, green-tongued, and smelling like a Malaysian whorehouse.

I’m the kindest, most supportive friend ever, probably to my own detriment, but I hope that I am toughening up a little bit.

I have one girlfriend who is dating right now – she’s divorced – and she’s on Tinder, so we play Tinder. I know that’s not a real game, but it’s my favorite thing to do.

TV always wants more people to be watching.

The best advice anybody could have given me was to keep getting up over and over again.

Wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.

I talk to grown-ups who are out to have a good time and they want to be spoken to in a different way.

You just have to keep getting up’. And I look back and they were right. They were all right.

I am absolutely a Giants fan and I’m a Dynasty baby so I was a 49ers fan for a long time.

But I love stand-up, and it’s where I came from creatively, so it’s something I never want to walk away from.

One thing we do really well on Archer and one thing I’ve always tried to do in my comedy and my writing and my podcast is to never speak down to my audience.

I really do know football.

I grew up on the back of a motorcycle – my dad didn’t have a car until I was a teenager. And then my closest friend from grade school was a guy.

My attitude to peace is rather based on the Burmese definition of peace – it really means removing all the negative factors that destroy peace in this world.

I go with the rhythm of it and the words start to come to my mind and those words could be based on things that’s been on my mind for the past year, the past month, the past week, whatever; I write it.

My whole theory for the improvement of society is based on a belief in the discipline and the education of the individual to self-control and right doing, for the sake of right doing.

Conduct, which involves a decision of the ultimate fate of the agent cannot be based on illusions.

Rich people choose to get paid based on results. Poor people choose to get paid based on time.

I, therefore, demand the formation of a consolidated Muslim State in the best interest of India and Islam.

The Christian life from start to finish is based upon this principle of utter dependence upon the Lord Jesus.

What I learned is that in business you must make decisions based on facts, not react with your heart.