Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn’t imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I’m gone for six days it feels like too much
ADAM CAROLLAI cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that’s out of this world. I’ll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn’t have to be between Thai and Mexican every night.
More Adam Carolla Quotes
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I saw a commercial for the maxi pads for the bigger gals they’re making now. That was a nice visual while I was eating.
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My life is about building and working and wrenching on some cars.
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If you’re conservative in Hollywood, you’re on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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If in 1989 I said, ‘I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,’ they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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Junior colleges are high schools with ashtrays.
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Mmm, tastes like hepatitis!
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The believe-in-yourself adage is grossly overrated.
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If you’ve driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it’s like a golf course… Real estate values go ‘boom!’
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I’m not interested in hurting their feelings.
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Here’s what you know: you know when you’re getting laid, and you know when it’s all over. Those are the only two things you’re aware of.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don’t like the television stuff as much.
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All TV is, is really: ‘Don’t you want to be this, aren’t you glad you’re not that.’ There’s nothing really in the middle.
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I get depressed at airports.
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I feel like I’m a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.
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I have no connection with Hollywood. I’m not interested. I don’t care.
ADAM CAROLLA