I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEYYou can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
ANDY ROONEY -
The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.
ANDY ROONEY -
When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY -
The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
ANDY ROONEY -
Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY -
I’ve learned, That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.
ANDY ROONEY -
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
ANDY ROONEY -
Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.
ANDY ROONEY -
Half the cookbooks tell you how to cook the food and the other half tell you how to avoid eating it.
ANDY ROONEY -
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY -
Looking and not finding is certainly one of the most frustrating ways to spend time.
ANDY ROONEY -
A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.
ANDY ROONEY -
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY