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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

Andy Rooney

I’ve learned. That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you more.
ANDY ROONEY

Hurt Learning Person Planning Yourself
I’ve learned, That money doesn’t buy class.
ANDY ROONEY

Class Money Myself Standard
Once you pass forty, a dime isn’t worth bending over to pick up if you drop one.
ANDY ROONEY

Drop Oneself Worth
Civilization means conforming to a standard of behavior that may not seem natural to us.
ANDY ROONEY

Behavior Civilization Confirm Natural
I’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEY

God Happiness Learning Myself
Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
ANDY ROONEY

Goodness Ideas Ourselves Prison Religious
A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Greatness Opinion People Permission Right Talk
All economists should be locked up until they admit that they don’t know what they’re talking about.
ANDY ROONEY

Admit Economist Talk
I’ve learned, That I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.
ANDY ROONEY

Help Himself Learning Myself Prayer Strength Way
I’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEY

Adult Block Children Father Simple Summer Walk Wonder
I don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEY

Hands Mystery Pill Yourself
Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEY

Eat Soft Sweet Word Yourself
In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY

Book Difficult Live Surround
It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.
ANDY ROONEY

Better Truth World
If I’d known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can’t remember a single project I would have started.
ANDY ROONEY

Finish Myself Problem Remember
Don’t you hate it when, your suitcase is the last one off the airplane?
ANDY ROONEY

Hate Last Luggage Oneself Yourself

A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

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A woman over 30 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?”. She doesn’t care what you think.

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Popular Authors

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