Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
BILL MAHER
Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
BILL MAHER -
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHER -
In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHER -
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER -
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHER -
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
BILL MAHER -
The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
BILL MAHER -
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER -
During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER -
You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
BILL MAHER -
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER -
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHER -
At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER -
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
BILL MAHER -
The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHER