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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

Bill Maher

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
BILL MAHER

Change Disease Sin
The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
BILL MAHER

Channel Enough Expand Horizon Sex Yourself
God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
BILL MAHER

God Life Misery Myself Pain Talk Terrible
One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
BILL MAHER

Advantage Atheist Time Yourself
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER

Himself Missing Money Negotiation Yourself
The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
BILL MAHER

Difference Religion Talk Voice
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER

Believe Life Path True
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER

Curiosity Interesting Myself People Wonder
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER

Ban Bed Myself People Smoking
I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
BILL MAHER

Communalism Compare Human Hypocrisy Marriage Nature
If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHER

Against Gay Sexuality Yourself
The whole dating ritual was different when I was a kid. Girls got pinned, not nailed.
BILL MAHER

Children Date Different Myself Ritual
We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
BILL MAHER

Fun Joke Religion
I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religious
Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHER

Hollywood Mirror Yourself
Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
BILL MAHER

Better Care People

Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.

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