When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.
ANDY ROONEYThe best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
More Andy Rooney Quotes
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In the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
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Don’t take a butcher’s advice on how to cook meat. If he knew, he’d be a chef.
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I’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
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You can’t be a good writer without being a good thinker.
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When it comes to educating all of us about the most basic things in life, it seems to me we need more kindergartens and fewer graduate schools.
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Women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!
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It isn’t working that’s so hard, it’s getting ready to work.
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Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn’t have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.
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Most of us aren’t that interested in getting rich- we just don’t want to get poor.
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I’ve learned that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
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I’ve learned, That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
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Anyone should be very suspicious of a sentence he’s written that can’t be read aloud easily.
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The third rule of life is this: Everything you buy today is smaller, more expensive, and not as good as it was yesterday.
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Conservatives are more religious than liberals–although there is no evidence that they’re nicer people because of it.
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Age is nothing but experience, and some of us are more experienced than others
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I’ve learned, That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
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A great many people do not have the right to their own opinion because they don’t know what they are talking about.
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I’ve learned That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
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I can’t choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.
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Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
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Small daily happenings make life spectacular. Start enjoying the small things in life!
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Don’t rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head.
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No one ever writes a book in which he is the bad guy.
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I’ve learned, That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
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Elephants and grandchildren never forget.
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Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don’t need to be done.
ANDY ROONEY