In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.
TIM ALLENI have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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I’ve gotten so far past the Android and iPhones that I’m back to a flip-phone. It’s funny, you can buy antique flip-phones online. A lot of us collect them. Clearly, they’re considered antiques.
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When you’re 6 or 7, your father becomes this wonderful presence in your life. I really responded to my father. And then, the very moment I realized that I loved him unconditionally, that life was going to be great just because he was in it, he was gone.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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If you don’t decide where you’re going, life will decide for you.
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Why go to a church to worship God? A church is man made. God never said, “And let there be aluminum siding.” Climbing a tree to talk to God sounds like a better idea since only God can make a tree. And if that tree’s on a golf course, all the better.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
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Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.
TIM ALLEN