Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEYHappiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.
ANDY ROONEYAlways keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned… That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned, That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
ANDY ROONEYPeople will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.
ANDY ROONEYI don’t like food that’s too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef is spending too much time arranging and not enough time cooking. If I wanted a picture I’d buy a painting.
ANDY ROONEYDo I have opinions that might piss people off? Yes – that’s what I’m here for.
ANDY ROONEYSooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned that we should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.
ANDY ROONEYMy most serious character flaw is that I don’t deny myself much.
ANDY ROONEYI’ve learned… that just one person saying to me, ‘You’ve made my day!’ makes my day.
ANDY ROONEYI don’t know anything offhand that mystifies Americans more than the cotton they put in pill bottles. Why do they do it? Are you supposed to put the cotton back in once you’ve taken a pill out?
ANDY ROONEYMost of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.
ANDY ROONEYGo to bed. Whatever you’re staying up late for isn’t worth it.
ANDY ROONEYNever trust the food in a restaurant on top of the tallest building in town that spends a lot of time folding napkins.
ANDY ROONEYIn the futile attempts we all make to tidy up our lives and our surroundings, nothing is more difficult than throwing out a book.
ANDY ROONEY