The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
BILL MAHERIf it weren’t for acid, you might not have an IPod, and you definitely would not have some of the best music in your IPod.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER -
Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
BILL MAHER -
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER -
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER -
If you have a few hundred followers and you let some of them molest children, they call you a cult leader. If you have a billion, they call you Pope.
BILL MAHER -
Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
BILL MAHER