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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

Tim Allen

Dog’s listen, or appear to listen. I think they hear blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah. They appear to be listening to you.
TIM ALLEN

Appearance Listening Noise Thinking Voice Yourself
Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
TIM ALLEN

Funny Golf Lost Missing Play Sports Yourself
Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
TIM ALLEN

Dangerous Floor Ground Himself Stick
I have an only child. She’s so independent and good with adults.
TIM ALLEN

Adult Children Goodness Independent
I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
TIM ALLEN

Clarify Funny Memories Myself
As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
TIM ALLEN

Depend History Point View
I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
TIM ALLEN

Artist Life Logo Love Myself
Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
TIM ALLEN

Creation Point Time Yourself
There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
TIM ALLEN

Beautiful Bride Feeling Greatness Herself
For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
TIM ALLEN

God Ideas Myself Religion Time
Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
TIM ALLEN

Easy Family Issues Movie Time
Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
TIM ALLEN

Comedy One Liner Ultimate
My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
TIM ALLEN

Children Family Father Hero Myself
Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
TIM ALLEN

Action Man Willing Woman Work
I wonder if to stare into the face of God will drive me crazy. (I wonder who would blink first.)
TIM ALLEN

Crazy Drive Face God Myself Stare Wonder
I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
TIM ALLEN

Audience Easy Hurt Myself Time

I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

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Popular Authors

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