False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER
The cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER -
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER -
The difference between the three Abrahamic religions: Christianity – mumbling to the ceiling, Judaism – mumbling to the wall, Islam – mumbling to the floor.
BILL MAHER -
To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
BILL MAHER -
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
BILL MAHER -
Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
BILL MAHER -
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER -
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
BILL MAHER -
Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
BILL MAHER -
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
BILL MAHER -
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER -
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHER -
I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
BILL MAHER -
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER -
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
BILL MAHER -
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
BILL MAHER