The true axis of evil in America is the brilliance of our marketing combined with the stupidity of our people.
BILL MAHERWhat is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
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It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
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I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
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Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
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Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
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One of the advantages of atheism is takes so little of your time.
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They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
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What is it with conservatives? Seriously, I’m not trying to be partisan but it seems like if they’re anti-illegal alien, they have illegal aliens working for them. If they’re anti-gay, they turn out to be gay. If they’re super Christian, they’re a witch.
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Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
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The Drug War is an addiction, really.
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Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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To most Christians, the Bible is like a software license. Nobody actually reads it. They just scroll to the bottom and click ‘I Agree’.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
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It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
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Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
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Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHER