“I love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.”

Use a screwdriver instead of a hammer. Try to untighten the nut with your hand. Utilize the path of least resistance first.

I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.

Man is the only animal to borrow tools.

Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.

Being wealthy when no one else is, is like being the only one at the party with a drink.

Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.

I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Dogs will eat till they die. Cats will leave food in the dish, incomprehensible to a dog.

Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.

They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.

I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.

I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.

When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.

When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.

Boys can be disgusting. You can’t leave us alone for any length of time because we will burn something, blow something up or paint something. We’re just obnoxious.

Minds ripen at very different ages.

It is not a sin to be seventy but it is also no joke.

I didn’t want to go there [America] at 34 years old and for people to say he’s only going for the money. It’s not what I’m going out there to do

Your aging face tells stories of where you’ve been whom you’ve loved.

You are your own scriptwriter and the play is never finished, no matter what your age or position in life.

But if we are truly happy inside, then age brings with it a maturity, a depth, and a power that only magnifies our radiance.

People in their 70s can still have incredible lives. Health is the most important thing.

Don’t you think it’s sometimes wise not to grow up.