I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
TIM ALLENI love women. I actually prefer girls, as a parent, because they disappoint at a different age. They go through that, “Dad’s an idiot,” which lasted a little longer than I’d like.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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Nothing’s as easy as it is on a sitcom. Issues that we take care of in 20 minutes on the show can stretch out over years in real families.
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Kids learn by example. If I respect Mom, they’re going to respect Mom.
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All men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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For years, I just did not like this idea of God, church.
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I have always enjoyed do-it-yourself projects, .. Being in a position to actually help design and bring tools to market is an incredible opportunity. Being able to fund charities as a result is phenomenal.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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You don’t know what people are really like until they’re under a lot of stress.
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Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn’t go far didn’t see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.
TIM ALLEN