I’m a creative guy, artistically with graphics.
TIM ALLENWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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There is no greater feeling than when a groom turns to see his bride and has tears in his eyes because she is so beautiful.
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I’m sad for adults who want to be children. And children who want to be adults.
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The world’s a mean place. It’s unfair, then it’s fair. It’s hateful, then it’s loving. It’s a very peculiar place on philosophical and metaphysical and religious levels.
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I had a very easy time loving an audience. But when it’s one-on-one with somebody, all I wanted to do was run away, because maybe they’re going to want something from me I can’t give, or they’re going to hurt me.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
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My dad’s death reminds me of earthquakes – things that shake your foundation.
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The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.
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I have a thing for tools.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.
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