But separate a man from his car – that’s inhuman.
TIM ALLENWomen now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we’ve always had: work, or prison.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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Men often do things for women that they don’t want to do, so that women will do things for men that they don’t want to do.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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Comedy is the ultimate anarchist.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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Men are pigs. Too bad we own everything.
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Anytime you work with animals, you begin to see more humanity in them.
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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I blend memories. I blend them into one that’s funny. I exaggerate to clarify.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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The big advantage to playing the Venetian in Las Vegas – where it’s a beautiful theater – is that unlike other places, even many other nice venues, I can do a set and lighting cues, I can put on a real show. I can dress up, wear a tux.
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My stepfather stepped in where no man would’ve stepped in – six kids, five of them boys – and that’s heroic.
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Real men don’t use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer’s opinion on how to put this together.
TIM ALLEN






