I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
TIM ALLENWomen are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
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I have a thing for tools.
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Can we take a direct flight back to reality or do we have to change planes in Denver?
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A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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I grew up around hunters. I love guns, bows, arrows, compasses and binoculars. I don’t do any of that stuff, I just like the stuff. I shot one animal, in my life, and I didn’t like it. If I had to skin an animal to eat it, I’d probably eat vegetables.
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If you want to condemn yourself for the mistakes you’ve made, let’s be fair, that means you’ve got to congratulate yourself for all the good things you’ve done. It’s okay to say, “God, I wish I’d done this; yeah, but I did do that.” Then it kind of balances out.
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Women are brilliant. Every woman knows how to do the weirdest thing right out of the bucket. Every woman knows how to do that Hindu head wrap with the towel out of the shower. Ever try to do that? You look like a drunk Iraqi soldier.
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As the Chinese will tell you, history depends on your point of view.
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I’m one of these guys that just spoils the environment. I like ATVs and snowmobiles. I have a motorcycle up there, and I like cruising through the hills.
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I’m a very bad student, but a great learner.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of “Yeah, we might have to reboot.”
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To get a man’s attention, just stand in front of the TV and don’t move. He’ll talk to you. I promise.
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I think women like Ferraris. A Ferrari is everybody’s car.
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