When somebody tells you they’re not very smart, they’re saying exactly the opposite.
TIM ALLENAll men like to think that they can do it alone, but a real man knows that there no substitute for support , encouragement or a pit crew.
More Tim Allen Quotes
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I know it sounds odd, but I want to make a Rolex-quality screwdriver.
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I love doing logos. I’ve been a graphic artist all my life.
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My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.
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Man is the only animal to borrow tools.
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When I went to jail, reality hit so hard that it took my breath away, took my stance away, took my strength away. I was there buck naked, humiliated, sitting in my own crap and urine – this is a metaphor. My ego had run off. Your ego is the biggest coward.
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In my experience, it’s all wonderful with girls until about 16. Around that time, boys kind of calm down and start focusing their testosterone. Girls get a little challenging, especially for fathers.
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They say you only go around once, but with a muscle car you can go around two or three times.
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I’m actually more of a cat guy than a dog person because I travel so much. I love cats.
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Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
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I was gone so much in my first marriage. I love the moments when I engage with my youngest daughter now. It’s not my thing to sit on the ground and play tea party, but I’ll do it because it’s a moment that will stick with me forever.
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A car crossed two lanes of traffic, flipped, and landed on my dad’s car. I don’t blame cars. My dad loved cars. I don’t have many memories of my dad. The love of cars is all I have of him, really.
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I have irrational fears, and they all go back to losing my father as a kid. I’ve never gotten over it.
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My comedy is not mine. It’s a gift. I’m not that smart.
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I used to live an isolated existence, even in relationships, but now my family knows me for who I really am. Mostly, that’s a good thing.
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Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we’re just the tallest people living here.
TIM ALLEN