Distance, n. The only thing that the rich are willing for the poor to call theirs and keep.
AMBROSE BIERCEEducation, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Year: A period of three hundred and sixty-five disappointments.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
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Labor is one of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
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Money. A blessing that is of no advantage to us excepting when we part with it.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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RATIONAL, adj. Devoid of all delusions save those of observation, experience and reflection.
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Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.
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