Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.
AMBROSE BIERCEBore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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In each human heart are a tiger, a pig, an ass and a nightingale. Diversity of character is due to their unequal activity.
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Consul – in American politics, a person who having failed to secure an office from the people is given one by the Administration on condition that he leave the country.
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Alliance – in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other’s pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
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Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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They say that hens do cackle loudest when there is nothing vital in the eggs they have laid.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.
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