Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.
AMBROSE BIERCEDawn: When men of reason go to bed.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Scriptures – The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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Fear has no brains; it is an idiot.
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PAIN, n. An uncomfortable frame of mind that may have a physical basis in something that is being done to the body, or may be purely mental, caused by the good fortune of another.
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A wedding is a ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one undertakes to become nothing, and nothing undertakes to become supportable.
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Laughter, n. An interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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Ambition. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
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Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Democracy is defended in 3 stages. Ballot Box, Jury Box, Cartridge Box.
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