I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.
LEWIS GRIZZARDElvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
More Lewis Grizzard Quotes
-
-
The idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Kinky sex involves the use of duck feathers. Perverted sex involves the whole duck.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Life is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Mama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Let’s all start walking more and driving less.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
I get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Spring time is the land awakening.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
There’s no such thing as being too Southern.
LEWIS GRIZZARD -
Baptists never make love standing up. They’re afraid someone might see them and think they’re dancing.
LEWIS GRIZZARD