“It’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.”

If you are not the lead dog, your scenery never changes.

Yankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.

There’s no such thing as being too Southern.

There’s nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

I know lots of people who are educated far beyond their intelligence.

Sex hasn’t been the same since women started enjoying it.

Money doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never slept alone until after I was married.

It’s better to have died a small child than to be a politician who gets caught in a scandal during a slow news month.

When My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?

I finally figured it out, I finally figured out how to find some peace and happiness. I sure would hate for the man upstairs to take me now. But at least I did figure it out.

Today’s sensitive male has learned to share in open frank discussions about relationships like, “Where the hell did you get a crazy idea like that? You been reading Redbook again?”

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.

There is nothing more difficult than waking someone who is only pretending to be asleep.

When one works and imagines and dreams of nothing else than the search for answers that God has posed, it is difficult to be so still.

The task must be made difficult, for only the difficult inspires the noble-hearted.

It is difficult for a man to speak long of himself without vanity.

A very important but difficult piece of renewing relationships is accepting responsibility for our part in any conflict.

Mash up tells me how difficult it is to stay loyal to one song.

It is a common failing of mortals to deem the more difficult the fairer.

The most beautiful lessons are the hardest, and letting go is the most difficult out of the rest to do.