Perseverance – a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
AMBROSE BIERCEAbsurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one’s own opinion.
More Ambrose Bierce Quotes
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Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Opposition, n. In politics the party that prevents the government from running amuck by hamstringing it.
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He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.
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Education, n.: That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
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Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
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RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.
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Prescription: A physician’s guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to the patient.
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The covers of this book are too far apart.
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Christian, n.: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbor.
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An election is nothing more than the advanced auction of stolen goods.
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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
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History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
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Wine, madam, is God’s next best gift to man.
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To the eye of failure success is an accident.
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IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.
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Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.
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Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
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Don’t steal; thou’lt never thus compete successfully in business. Cheat.
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ULTIMATUM, n. In diplomacy, a last demand before resorting to concessions.
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Aborigines, n.: Persons of little worth found cumbering the soil of a newly discovered country. They soon cease to cumber; they fertilize.
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There are two instruments worse than a clarinet – two clarinets.
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War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
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The only distinction that democracies reward is a high degree of conformity.
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Life – a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.
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Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
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