I bought a box of animal crackers, but there was nothing inside. They’d eaten each other.
LILY TOMLINWhat I appreciate is acknowledging to the audience that I think they have brains.
More Lily Tomlin Quotes
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Instead of working for the survival of the fittest, we should be working for the survival of the wittiest – then we can all die laughing.
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No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up.
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Wouldn’t it be great if we all grew up to be what we wanted to be? The world would be full of nurses, firemen, and ballerinas.
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I can handle reality in small doses, but as a lifestyle, it’s much too confining.
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But there are too many people that make so much money at the cost of lives of other humans and for no reason but to make the money.
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Exercise is for people who can’t handle drugs or alcohol.
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If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
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I think life is perverse. It can be beautiful, but it won’t.
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The start to a better world is the belief that it is possible.
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If evolution was worth its salt, it should’ve evolved something better than ‘survival of the fittest.’ I think a better idea would be ‘survival of the wittiest.’ At least, that way, creatures that didn’t survive could’ve died laughing.
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9 to 5 made people aware of equal pay for equal work. It hasn’t really happened, but it has come closer.
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Infinity is just time on an ego trip.
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Being a New Yorker is never having to say you are sorry.
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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
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Growing up in Michigan was fine, until I realized where I was.
LILY TOMLIN






