“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.

I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.

Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.

There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.

Always make room for the unexpected in yourself.

I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.

Writer’s block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.

Life is about Laughter. The truth is, life can be real hard at times. There are many lows, many hardships, many tragic events that will happen throughout your years here – but never lose sight of your smile, your laugh.

When times are hard, do something. If it works, do it some more. If it does not work, do something else. But keep going.

Night is always darker before the dawn and life is the same, the hard times will pass, every thing will get better and sun will shine brighter then ever.

There’s a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it.

In the high tide or low tide, I’m gonna be your friend.

There were some times when I just wanted to quit making music.

Tough times are inevitable in life and in business. But how you compose yourself during those times defines your spirit and will define your future.

The time is always right to do the right thing.