“It’s pain that changes our lives.”

It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

How many people have never raised their hand before?

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

In the moment when we are able to smile, to look at ourselves with compassion, our world begins to change.

I used to say, “I sure hope things will change.” Then I learned that the only way things are going to change for me is when I change.

Peace is a daily, a weekly, a monthly process, gradually changing opinions, slowly eroding old barriers, quietly building new structures.

I want the world to be better because I was here.

It’s only in times of change that someone can be clear of what he has and wants, and what he needs to give up.

It is better to change an opinion than to persist in a wrong one.

When you change your thinking, you change actions, when you change your action you change your future.

Hurt’s a reason to change, but all the hurt in the world don’t change facts.