I went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHTI went to a restaurant that serves ‘breakfast at any time’. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
STEVEN WRIGHTAll those who believe in psychokinesis – raise my hand.
STEVEN WRIGHTSupport bacteria – they’re the only culture some people have.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
STEVEN WRIGHTThe other night I was lying in bed, looking up at the stars, and I wondered, ‘Where the hell is my roof?
STEVEN WRIGHTIf heat rises, then heaven must be hotter than hell.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobody’s perfect so I stopped practicing.
STEVEN WRIGHTNo one is listening until you make a mistake.
STEVEN WRIGHTDepression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
STEVEN WRIGHTExperience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
STEVEN WRIGHTWhen everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
STEVEN WRIGHTTo steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
STEVEN WRIGHTIf Dracula can’t see his reflection in a mirror, how come his hair is always so neatly combed?
STEVEN WRIGHTMy dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon’s appointments.
STEVEN WRIGHTThe older you get, the more you learn to see what you’ve been taught to see. When you’re a kid, you see what’s there.
STEVEN WRIGHT