This would have been a great game to watch if we didn’t have any money on it.
NORM MACDONALDImprudent restrictions often force youth farther than enticement would carry them; and careless limitation is frequently worse than no injunction.
More Norm MacDonald Quotes
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I don’t know the difference between a hippie and a hipster but, it’s fun to watch either one of them get beat up.
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With the ambitious, the failure of one expedient is the suggestion of another; but with the irresolute, defeat usually occasions abandonment of purpose.
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There are two things which a man should scrupulously avoid: giving advice that he would not follow, and asking advice when he is determined to pursue his own opinion.
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All my life’s about is cracking up people and them cracking me up and trying not to think about dying. That doesn’t cost very much money.
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The standard of morals is as variable as morals themselves; of which every nation has a different code, and every custom a different reading.
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Some men are tempted to violate secrecy from the uneasiness secrecy gives them, and others, merely to impress you with the extent of their confidence.
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Back in the old days, a man could just get sick and die. Now they have to wage a battle. So my Uncle Bert is waging a courageous battle, which I’ve seen, because I go and visit him. And this is the battle: he’s lying in the hospital bed, with a thing in his arm, watching Matlock on the TV.
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Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.
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It is often better to be restricted to necessity than unconfined in the measure of our desires: prosperity destroys more individuals than adversity ruins.
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The young compliment their greatness on the number of their friends; the old, on the confidence of them.
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There are two things at which most men are grieved: when their faults are exposed, and when their virtues are concealed.
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I don’t have any ambition.
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Note to self: no matter how bad life gets, there’s always beer.
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Yeah man, they call gambling a disease, but it’s the only disease where you can win a bunch of money.
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In math, you could get 100 percent. It was very fair. That’s what I liked about math. You could figure it out, and the teacher couldn’t have a stupid opinion about it.
NORM MACDONALD






