Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
STEVE MARTINI guess I wouldn’t believe in anything if it weren’t for my lucky astrology mood watch.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
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Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
STEVE MARTIN