I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.
STEVE MARTINBefore you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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Now let’s repeat the non-conformists’ oath: I promise to be different! I promise to be unique! I promise not to repeat things other people say! Good!
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Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything!
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You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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It’s pain that changes our lives.
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Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTIN