“Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.”

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

How many people have never raised their hand before?

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

Criticizing someone else’s work ethic doesn’t make you work harder.

To become self-educated you should condemn yourself for all those things that you would criticize others.

Never be ashamed of expressing how you feel; being ashamed of emotional pain is as outlandish as being ashamed of shoulder pain. Your emotions are your truth; they are internal experiences that belong to you and no one has the right to criticize them.

You can successfully take a jab at your ex without having everyone criticize you for it.

Don’t criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances.

Every night on the court I give my all, and if I’m not giving 100 percent, I criticize myself.

If you want to know who controls you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right – for you’ll be criticized anyway.