There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won’t stand for that.
STEVE MARTINIt’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
More Steve Martin Quotes
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The banjo is such a happy instrument–you can’t play a sad song on the banjo – it always comes out so cheerful.
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How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.
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No art comes from the conscious mind.
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Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.
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It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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It’s not the size of the nose that matters, it’s what’s inside that counts.
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How many people have never raised their hand before?
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You can’t really conduct your life by one or two phrases.
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Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
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Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.
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There’s no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you.
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I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.
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Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.
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I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be.
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It’s not what you know, it’s what you think you know.
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You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
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I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.
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When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.
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Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it’s almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync.
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There’s someone out there for everyone – even if you need a pickaxe, a compass, and night goggles to find them.
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All I’ve ever wanted was an honest week’s pay for an honest day’s work.
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Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
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I’m not trying to be a big shot or anything like that, but I get my drinks half price.
STEVE MARTIN