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I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

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Day Life Myself Past Present

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I could never be a woman, ’cause I’d just stay home and play with my breasts all day.
STEVE MARTIN

Body Funny Home Myself Play Stay Woman
It was essential that I never show doubt about what I was doing.
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Appearance Confidence Doubt Motivational Myself
Be so good they can’t ignore you.
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Goodness Ignorance Inspirational Motivational One Liner Yourself
You have to get comfortable with your work, you really have to know what you’re doing, and it has to be almost boring to you to be able to do it well.
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Boredom Comfortable Work Yourself
I just downloaded eleven hundred books onto my Kindle, and now I can’t lift it.
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Book Funny Myself
I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.
STEVE MARTIN

Day Life Myself Past Present
Dinosaurs did not walk with humans. The evolutionary record says different. They gambled.
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Different Evolution Human Walk
I started a grease fire at McDonald’s – threw a match in the cook’s hair.
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Cook Fire Hairs Match Mischief Myself Start
Always do business as if the person you’re doing business with is trying to screw you, because he probably is. And if he’s not, you can be pleasantly surprised.
STEVE MARTIN

Business Happiness Person Surprise Try Yourself
I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.
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Breathe Business Mistake Myself Worst
I really enjoy finding the right word, creating a good, flowing sentence. I enjoy the rhythm of the words.
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Creation Enjoyment Flow Goodness Myself Right Word
The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.
STEVE MARTIN

Greatness Hard Work Inspirational Surprise Yourself
Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it.
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Alone Break Up Connection Deep Herself Himself Moments Night Relationship Thinking
I love money. I love everything about it.
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Love Money Myself One Liner
Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you’ll be a mile away and have his shoes.
STEVE MARTIN

Criticize Himself Man Walk Way Yourself
Some people have a way with words, and other people; oh, uh, not have way.
STEVE MARTIN

Choice People Way Word

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