“I will do anything to look like him – except, of course, exercise or eat right.”

Be so good they can’t ignore you.

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

How many people have never raised their hand before?

Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.

When I die, now don’t think that I’m a nut, don’t want no fancy funeral, just one like old King Tut.

I was deeply unhappy, but I didn’t know it because I was so happy all the time.

I’ve got to keep breathing. It’ll be my worst business mistake if I don’t.

With comedy, you never know until you put it in front of an audience. You shoot it and a year later you have no idea if it’s going to work. And then you get the response. It’s great when it’s good.

I have found that– just as in real life–imagination sometimes has to stand in for experience.

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.

I actually learned about sex watching neighborhood dogs. And it was good. Go ahead and laugh. I think the most important thing I learned was: Never let go of the girl’s leg, no matter how hard she tries to shake you off.

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language… Apache.

My general thing is, if you feel cute in your outfit, then your outfit is cute.

Everyone’s showing their thong out the back of their jeans. But you shouldn’t wear any. You get a better line if you wear no knickers.

Pictures aren’t made out of doctrines. Since the appearance of impressionism, the official salons, which used to be brown, have become blue, green, and red…But peppermint or chocolate, they are still confections.

I don’t want to be made to look like I’m 25. I’m 39. I don’t have any issues with my age.

Don’t worry about looking good – worry about achieving your goals.

As I’ve gotten older, I like longer dresses, but my legs come up to my ears, and I’m not very tall, so when I wear a short skirt,I’ve got to be really conscious.

If the world really looks like that I will paint no more!

A girl told me my lips looked like somebody had pressed strawberry yogurt against my face.