Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECKGuilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Children make your life important.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK