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Erma Bombeck Quote - Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.

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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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Advice Appearance
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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Advice Children Funny Yourself
Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Live Play Religious See Travel Understand Yourself
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Children Food Funny Myself Place Stay
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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Bed Boredom Family Mom Myself
He who laughs lasts.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Children Funny Parents Reward Survive
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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Body Boundary Community Fun Funny Humor Myself Smile
I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Discover Myself Science Worry
Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Age Eye Kind Memories Old Perspective Thinking
Children make your life important.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Husband Marriage Myself Vacation. Children
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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