We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.
JOAN RIVERSOn the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
-
-
Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny.
JOAN RIVERS -
Don’t worry about the money. Love the process.
JOAN RIVERS -
Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you’re okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.
JOAN RIVERS -
Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERS -
I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.
JOAN RIVERS -
I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, ‘Let me help you with those buttons’ and I told him, ‘I’m completely naked’.
JOAN RIVERS -
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
JOAN RIVERS -
I’m in nobody’s circle, I’ve always been an outsider.
JOAN RIVERS -
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
JOAN RIVERS -
Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.
JOAN RIVERS -
To the pessimist the light at the end of the tunnel is another train.
JOAN RIVERS -
Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.
JOAN RIVERS -
I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn’t get better. You get better.
JOAN RIVERS -
A study says owning a dog makes you 10 years younger. My first thought was to rescue two more, but I don’t want to go through menopause again.
JOAN RIVERS -
Grandchildren can be annoying – how many times can you go: “And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink”? It’s like talking to a supermodel.
JOAN RIVERS