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I hate writing, I love having written.

Dorothy Parker

[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
DOROTHY PARKER

Break Friendship Time
Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Beautiful Greatness Healing Myself Time
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER

Atmosphere Best Children Home
[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Earth Fools Love Man Woman
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER

Fools Myself Sorry Touch
Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Choice Clothes Grave Life Style Time Yourself
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER

Excitement Fortune Irritation
There’s a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.
DOROTHY PARKER

Distance Hell Simplicity Sports Truth Word
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Hate Myself People Rich
And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
DOROTHY PARKER

Burn Heart Myself Safety Scars
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Feeling Hurt Necessary Yourself
The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?
DOROTHY PARKER

Clean Professional Way Writing
If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER

Dance End Surprise Woman Young

I hate writing, I love having written.

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I hate writing, I love having written.

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