Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.
JOAN RIVERSTravel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: ‘We will laugh tomorrow about this.’ And you do.
More Joan Rivers Quotes
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I have a million dollar figure but it’s all loose change.
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I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.
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Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it’s happening.
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I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.
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Edgar had a heart attack, and I’m to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.
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Don’t cook. Don’t clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.
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We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.
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I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
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On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
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Keep moving. It’s hard for old age to hit a moving target.
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My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.
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A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she’s a tramp.
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Life is a movie, and you’re the star. Give it a happy ending.
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I saw what’s going on under my chin. I don’t want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.
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Better laid than never.
JOAN RIVERS






