“I like best to have one book in my hand, and a stack of others on the floor beside me, so as to know the supply of poppy and mandragora will not run out before the small hours.”

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

The best way to avoid a hangover is to stay drunk.

Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.

Now, look, baby, ‘Union’ is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?

It’s not the tragedies that kill us; it’s the messes.

Bewildered is the fox who lives to find that grapes beyond reach can be really sour.

You do what you can, and you do it because you should. But all you can do is all you can do.

Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.

The writer’s way is rough and lonely, and who would choose it while there are vacancies in more gracious professions, such as, say, cleaning out ferryboats?

I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.

I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.

Friends come and go but I wouldn’t have thought you’d be one of them.

Don’t feel bad when I die; I’ve been dead for a long time.

I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.

I guess the best advice I ever got or anyone could get for doing a talk show, though it has not been easy very often, was from Jack Paar, who said, ‘Kid, don’t make it an interview. Interviews have clipboards, and you’re like David Frost. Make it a conversation.’

The ego is like a kid in the basement: It’s best to keep him busy.

If you want to be obsessed to be your best, you must get ride of the negative things that are weighing you down.

When becoming a character, you have to steal. Steal whatever you see. You can even steal from other actors’ characterizations; but if you do, only steal from the best.

The best part is coming. What’s the best part? You swallowing an entire cow whole? No. That’s the finale.

Having sisters is the best. I have a different relationship with each of them. I go to Kim for fashion advice, Khloe is always boy and family advice, and Kourtney is like another mother to me.

Things will change – that’s the best and worst of it.

The best of you is galaxies away from the ordinary.