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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.

Dorothy Parker

[On the ringing of her doorbell or telephone:] What fresh hell is this?
DOROTHY PARKER

Funny Hell Herself Phone
He is a writer for the ages, the ages of four to eight.
DOROTHY PARKER

Age Children Forever Himself Time Writing
Misfortune, and recited misfortune especially, can be prolonged to the point where it ceases to excite pity and arouses only irritation.
DOROTHY PARKER

Excitement Fortune Irritation
Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKER

Enough Jealous Satisfaction Wine
That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can’t say ‘No’ in any of them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Language No Talk Woman
If you looked for things to make you feel hurt and wretched and unnecessary, you were certain to find them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Feeling Hurt Necessary Yourself
The Monte Carlo casino refused to admit me until I was properly dressed so I went and found my stockings, and then came back and lost my shirt.
DOROTHY PARKER

Appearance Fashion Lost Myself
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER

Goodness Hide Safety Treasure Woman
If I didn’t care for fun and such, I’d probably amount to much. But I shall stay the way I am, Because I do not give a damn.
DOROTHY PARKER

Care Fun Myself Stay
The only useful thing I ever learned in school was that if you spit on your eraser it erased ink.
DOROTHY PARKER

Education Learning Yourself
[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that’s much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER

Big Enough Friendship Funny Home Need Place Room
I hate almost all rich people, but I think I’d be darling at it.
DOROTHY PARKER

Hate Myself People Rich
I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I’m under the table/After four I’m under my host.
DOROTHY PARKER

Drink Food Funny Myself
If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.
DOROTHY PARKER

Deep God Himself Money People Thinking
Writing is the art of applying the ass to the seat.
DOROTHY PARKER

Art Seat Writing
They tire of quiet, that have known the storm
DOROTHY PARKER

Quiet Storm

I can’t write five words but that I change seven.

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I can’t write five words but that I change seven.

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