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Erma Bombeck Quote - A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.

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Cats invented self-esteem.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Children make your life important.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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