Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECKSometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECKCleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
ERMA BOMBECKEncourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
ERMA BOMBECKAll of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECKNever have more children than you have car windows.
ERMA BOMBECKVolunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
ERMA BOMBECKGood kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECKNever go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECKMy kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
ERMA BOMBECKFor years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECKCleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECKAs a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECKSome emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
ERMA BOMBECKChildren make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECKIf I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECKLaughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK