Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECKTime. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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