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Erma Bombeck Quote - Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

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No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time.
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