Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
ERMA BOMBECKIt is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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Volunteers are the only human beings on the face of the earth who reflect this nation’s compassion, unselfish caring, patience, and just plain love for one another.
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Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It’s unbridled, its unplanned, it’s full of suprises.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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Never have more children than you have car windows.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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Cats invented self-esteem.
ERMA BOMBECK